A Year to Remember

O you who believe! Do your duty to Allah and fear Him. And seek the means of approach to Him, and strive hard in His Cause (as much as you can), so that you may be successful.

 [Al-Maeda, Chapter #5, Verse #35]

Its hard to believe how far along I've come since the start of this blog...I am speechless. Words cannot begin to express what is in my heart, what is in my soul. Thanks to the Most High who created us all first and foremost. This year marks the 5th year since I started this blog and though my entries are far too few and readers dwindled I still feel immense happiness when I return and I remember its helping hand when I needed that hand the most. 

This year I've started to do what I've always wanted to do. I've started my life journey...it all begins here. I always knew what I wanted to be and finally it was attained through many a struggle and trial. I'm finally able to care for the sick and entrusted upon me that duty to do no harm but only for the benefit of the sick. I strive in this attainment. 

The road will become steeper not easier, the trials will increase not dwindle but with my right foot first and one day at a time it shall be done...it will be done. I look forward to the days ahead and what it shall bring me. I stand ready at the call of duty and I pray for the strength, courage, endurance, patience and compassion. 

Still and always blogging with purpose, 

Mariamlelue

*****

π

It was another day at the grind and exams the previous week hadn't gone quite as I wanted but nonetheless I survived to live another day. The following days were our last in this horrible place, where people came in dozens curled up in pain or "electively" as "they" like to say (who would do such a thing electively?) in order to be put under the knife, consenting for their innermost to be explored in the literal sense of it. After weeks of torture it was finally going to be over, our seniors didn't say much but you could feel they were starting to give way and allow us time to ourselves as it came well earned after many a long day. 

My friend casually asked me would you like to go to the cinema with her and I said yes quickly. I embraced every moment of not being here. So it was decided we would go the following day after the early morning march around the wards and barrage of questions for which we seldom knew the answer. On that fateful day my monthly reminder came and so I was in cramping fits but on the surface I was as quiet as a sleeping baby only giving away my torment with a slight crease of the forehead ever so often. But it was decided so I took what I could and off we went not without a few glitches but alas we went. 

Now it would be a great opportunity to say I had no idea what exactly we were going to see and neither did I care much. On arriving I read the charts it was single screen cinema showing a double and they were (in no particular order) Breaking Dawn pt 2 and Life of Pi. The first was somewhat familiar but I must confess I've never seen any of the previous parts in full and I really don't care to but here I was seeing the 3rd part...or is it the 4th? I have no idea but all in all I couldn't care less, I was just here to relax and refresh my dulled out senses. 
With eminent hunger on its way I made my way to the cafeteria to stock up for an estimated 3 1/2 hours of audio-visual entertainment. Yet again I had to be contented with pastry when I really wanted something savoury to eat, it was the midday showing after all. Too little places cater to our every Halal needs. Nevertheless I sat and was pleased to see curtains retracted and having seated midway into the cinema hall it felt comfortable and soothing. After a few minutes of new adverts for upcoming movies to entice the crowds to come back the first one started...I heard music...south-east asian music to be exact..hmm queer. Clearly I didn't have a hoot about the other movie. Saw some animals, all in a very ethnic setting. I was perplexed, this must be that other movie about the life of someone, maybe it was an Indian. 

I sat back and from the very start to the finish my curiosity peaked. The Life of Piscine Molitor Patel better known as Pi and in 3D for that matter. Can an inanimate movie made to play on emotion actually do just that? It did, it was love not at first sight but love nonetheless. The story, the journey, the struggle all meshed into a movie that will remain in my memory for a very long time. I couldn't stop there I had to read the novel, it had plainly come across the screen that it was directed based on it. The first book store I tried didn't have it, can you imagine? I tried a second much smaller book store and the attendant nodded yes they have it when I asked. My heart was overjoyed, its the smallest of things that take my breath away. I had it in my hand and soon in my shopping bag and off I set off to do more errands and then home to where the journey would begin again. This time correctly and not tainted by director's need to please the masses. 

I lapped up every inch of it, every line, every word from the front to the back including the reviews...every single letter in just about 3 days. You must say a long time for a book of 354 pages especially if I was so compelled to read it. It did not disappoint and my taking so long to read it was because life is not a library no matter how much we wish it to be. If justification is needed I used every minute of the time I did have free. 

If you've read till here and still reading, I applaud you. Reading is indeed an art but slowly becoming dead. It envelopes our ability to imagine to interpret never given never underestimated. This book has inspired me to write again...a joy I once took with great passion. Imagine what it could do for you? Until another time I leave you with these words of Yann Martel.."To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation."

***

Blogging with purpose, 

Mariamlelue

Emotion of the Heart - 4th Blog Anniversary

All praise is due to the Most High

I am thankful for what was given to me and what was not and I pray that the expressions of my inner voice will always be expressed. Indeed blessed to have the opportunity to reach the 4th year since I've started on that day of the 20th August, 2008. I penned this poem after so many days of not writing . Enjoy. 

Emotion of the Heart

I don't know where to begin or start, 

I guess I shall begin with what is in my heart, 

As emotion begins to set apart, 

The tiniest of things became art, 

A need for love,

But found only unworthy of, 

A time of need, 

Has lost to the never ending greed, 

What shall express what is hidden? 

What shall not extend into the forbidden?

A love lost is one too many, 

Yet I shall not crumble to any,

Too few stay, 

Far more walk away, 

Am I true to this heart that has never failed?

Or are my failures mirrorred in those who betrayed?

As the last light begins to fade, 

I drown my own as I prayed,

One cannot continue this charade, 

As the hand of justice indeed swayed , 

I've lost but I shall not stop searching, 

In one last attempt I am beseeching, 

To find what must be found, 

To live freely to this heart's sound,

My fate sealed and bound.

September 01st, 2012

***

Blogging with purpose, 

Mariamlelue

:)

I am happy to be where I am. Expectations have merged into acceptance and whatever happens I am happy with it. This I tell myself but hope has never left. In the face of it all I am happy to be as I am. No one can bring happiness to me as it is only possible through self realisation. For as long as I have known myself, time has passed, people have left and few have stayed but even then there is always the potential for happiness. We hold on to our dear ones in times of prioritisation and then complicated becomes straight forward. The clutter is cleared away and we can open our eyes once more. We see what is indeed important and what is indeed instrumental to happiness. 

Hold on to those that were given to us and let go of those that weren't. Preoccupation with the unattainable is like chasing after clouds. Keeping in mind dreams are not clouds and clouds are not dreams. A person who cannot dream has no potential and life has no depth or meaning. It is hard at times but I am still happy to be where I am. It is already mid year and 2012 has only just begun...or is it just me? Time is losing its value but yet so many cannot afford it. A commodity of the rich yet they spare not even a second in their quest for more, so who truly enjoys time? 

In my days ahead of me I hope that I can at least be a passenger going with time and not against it. I hope that I will remain happy to be where I am and who I am. 

Blogging with purpose, 

Mariamlelue

***

I leave you with a beautiful song which has but little to do with the theme of this blog entry but still enjoy! :)

Happy Days

All Praise is due to the Most High, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

"The miracle is not that we do this work, but that we are happy to do it." ~ Mother Teresa

How better to start off my first blog entry for this year than with these words? Today after many days have indeed passed I am finally putting thoughts to words. The sun has peaked its beautiful face out and all the trees, flowers and birds seem to be smiling and singing a happy song. God is great...indeed! Life is happening all around us and hope can be found even when isolation is knocking at the door.

These are the days I will remember for a very long time and as I have adjusted it seems soon I must adjust back to my usual cup of tea. I can't help but feel that I would soon miss these days that at the start seemed inevitably and dauntingly long. I must endure I said to myself and slowly but surely endurance turned into enjoyment and oh how sweet that transition is. Family and friends, I am indeed blessed and for them I will remain indebted for days past, now and always.

Being different is easily envied. At some point, it may be true that everyone wants to be the centre of attention. However it is hardly ever desired in those who are. I have learnt to accept all of mine and to be able to be me through it all. Always a challenge at first but soon life continues to happen. Being true to oneself is the best way to accompany that cycle.

I thank all who have given me this opportunity and I remain forever more humble, grateful and insightful as I have ever been.

Blogging with purpose,

Le-Ann Mariamlelue

3rd Blog Anniversary

In the name of the Most High, the Most Beneficient, the Most Merciful

Side by Side...Year By Year

It has been more than 3 years since the start of this blog, on that fateful day of 20th August, 2008. I have grown with it and though my entries are far too few my words here are forever imbibed for all those who seek to read it. There is comfort in words lost and words long forgotten. Never forget to express that which is naturally gifted to us and that is our thoughts. Truly the poorest of minds are those that are void of thoughts. Let not the plague of television and direct media dull our senses to all that is around us and will remain around us for longer than any one of today's devices, or one should hope so.

Take a deep breath in and take in all the scents and all the feelings that the moment in time has to offer. The warmth of the sunlight on the window pane, the smell of an inevitable rainstorm, the pangs of hunger in the hours of mid morning and especially when one can't help but feel like dropping everything and getting something to eat.

Everyday brings with it its experiences and all that is incurred due to it. Lazy days make one appreciate busier ones and then sometimes it is just heaven to be able to do nothing at all. I am enjoying such days and my comfort feels inexhaustible. Beauty in the absence of ugly is nothing at all. Opposites are created for diversity and comparison in order to generate gratitude for what is preferred and what is better. The sooner we realise this the better one shall be to do justice to life's experiences.

"People are much like stained glass windows. When the sun is shining through them, they glow brightly and sparkle. But when the sun goes down and it is dark and gloomy outside; Their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within." ~ Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Remember to laugh, to cry, to thank everyone around you, not forgetting to greet them, to see, to breathe, to feel, to taste, to pray, to love and yes to eat :) In so writing I shall take a dose of my own advice and I would like to take the time now to THANK EVERYONE of you who have graced this blog with your presence. I remain forever indebted to you and your support whether it be the tiniest or more.

(still) Blogging with purpose,

Mariamlelue

Give thanks for life and its opportunities....

Don't Worry, Be Happy

The words from the wise. After so many days of toil and struggle, laughter and enduring friendships, one can't help but feel a new day has come. Evidently no such thing has happened and the struggle shall go on but in light of all that, the laughter shall persist. We keep reinventing ourselves in an effort to keep things "fresh". There's absolutely nothing wrong with that in fact it might just be the only way to survive amicably.

Today is just another day, but, it is what we do that make novelties out of selected days. I have missed the refreshing release of expressing myself through this blog. In words that I have long forgotten or never given life to. Today and for the majority of all days please remember these words, "Don't worry, Be Happy". It may just be the reason for you to smile in the face of all the struggle. The struggle won't end but happiness doesn't cost a thing either.

I leave you with a song that will surely do justice to entertainment.

Blogging with purpose,

Mariamlelue

Don't Worry, Be Happy!

2nd Blog Anniversary

Assalamu Alaykum
Peace be unto you

Bismillah-Hir-Rahmanir-Raheem
I begin in the name of God, the Most Beneficient, the Most Merciful


If you focus carefully towards the middle of the picture you will see the new crescent signaling the start of Ramadhan 2010.

I started this blog back in August, 20th of 2008 and I used it as a means of expression and release. It has taken a very special place in my heart as words can effortlessly bring ease even to the most troubled of conscience. Since then to now I have not been as active as I would have wanted to be or at least as I should have been but life has a strange way of making time harder to manage as we get older. Maybe it is that we have more responsibilities but I intend to remain committed to what I started here and however few my posts are they will always express something meaningful at least to the writer's point of view :).

I graciously thank all of you have visited, read and contributed to this blog and without your support and visits I would not have been able to continue with it. To all the friendships that I have made from it I say Alhamdolilah (All praise is due to God), and may it last for all of time and beyond. They say quality is better than quantity but I would like to think the quality caused more than 2300 persons from more than 100 countries to grace my blog with their presence. Thank you sincerely to each and everyone of you.

Today is the 12th day of Ramadhan, 3 days after the actual date of my blog's anniversary and exactly 2 weeks from the start of the new semester at Medical School. Needless to say, today holds many key dates and I devote this post to all of them. Today is the day where I pay tribute to the renowned scholarly intellect of Maulana Jalāl-ad-Dīn Muḥammad Rūmī. It is ironic that he is so renowned in the world of poetry yet he is far less known to many. He deals with Fasting in the verses that I have selected or should I say re-selected as I have already shared a part of this work in a previous blog post. It is not withstanding to say his work is timeless and can be read and re-read exacting awe and inspiration each and every time.

***

There's a hidden sweetness,

in the stomach's emptiness.

We are all lutes, no more, no less.

If the sound-box is stuffed full of anything, no music.

If the brain and the belly are burning clean with fasting,

Every moment a new song comes out of the fire.

The fog clears,

And a new energy makes you run up the steps in front of you.

Be emptier and cry like reed instruments cry.

Emptier, write secrets with the reed pen.

When you're full of food and drink,

Satan sits where your spirit should,

An ugly metal statue in place of the Kaaba.

When you fast,

Good habits gather like friends who want to help.

Fasting is Soloman's ring.

Don't give it to some illusion and lose your power.

But even if you've lost all will and control,

They come back when you fast,

Like soldiers appearing out of the ground,

Pennants flying above them.

A table descends to your tents,

Jesus' table.

Expect to see it, when you fast,

This table is spread with other food,

Better than the broth of cabbages.

***
I would like to share this beautiful nasheed by Sheikh Mishaari Bin Rashid al Ifasy, Ahlan ya Ramadhan. Since I've come across it on youtube I have not been able to stop listening to it daily. I hope that you enjoy it as I have and continue to.



During this blessed time I want to wish you all a productive and beautiful month of fasting and prayer. May Allah keep us all ameen ya Rab

Blogging with purpose,
Mariamlelue

Life is at a standstill

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." ~ Antole France

I can't help but feel like the days are going away from me and yet they change nothing with its passing. Maybe I am getting older with each day but it still feels like I am the same and today is no different from a few days before and the same for a few days ahead. I am not complaining about this stagnancy but is it to be endured with patience or is it meant to be the alter ego of a sudden change in my life inevitably nearby. I cannot help but wonder...

In the meantime I think why do my days no longer feel productive. I have no answer, life is a mystery even for the wise so I am left with many unanswered questions. Part of me would just like to slip into the same routine and let life become automatic and expected rather than live it. Yet another part of me feels left behind and I feel like moments too precious are passing me by without any form of resistance to my current feelings.

Maybe it is I am looking for something deeper to life as we all are. Will I find it? Only time shall tell. I feel like the air I am breathing is stale and I have inhaled it too many times before. There is so much to see and be and I am still the same. Circumstances have changed or have they? I am not sure anymore. Looking for fulfillment in the wrong places I suppose.

I think this yearning for a foothold on life and a place to belong will only grow with time. It is in the hope that one day I shall indeed find that which I sought out to claim as my own. Until then this is me saying I await the end to life as I know it.

Blogging with purpose,
Mariamlelue

Children of War

“If we are to teach real peace in this world, and if we are to carry on a real war against war, we shall have to begin with the children.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi (Indian Philosopher, internationally esteemed for his doctrine of nonviolent protest, 1869-1948)
It is not with delight that I post this message but it is with an intention of highlighting what we remain oblivious to. The suffering of so many in Palestine and amongst them are the "children of war". I have not the understanding of where to start or what exactly to say. As I keep asking myself, what can I possibly say that will do any justice to their plight? Nothing comes to mind...

We have only to open our eyes and the tears will begin to flow. My tears cannot help them but hopefully my prayer is sincere enough to be heard by Allah, ya Rab. One cannot understand why it was and is still being done but in the world that exists today men without reasoning are the most influential.
I share this video that should be seen. I urge you to take the time and see it. It would be advised to keep a box of tissues nearby and if it does not become necessary then your heart is most definitely made of stone.

Let us all make a prayer and pledge to help these children in any way that we can. We are the adults of today so let us give the children who will be the adults of tomorrow a chance. May God protect and ease the sufferings of all the people of Palestine especially the children ameen ya Rab. Help these people to remain strong and endure whatever hardships they may still have to go through. Help them to see reason when there is none. Fill their hearts with forgiveness and hope. Remove from them hate and revenge. Inspire them with peace and love. Protect them from the onslaught of the wicked and defend them from the evils of that which surrounds them. Keep a watchful eye over them and remain as their guardian throughout their days. Prepare for them a beautiful place in this world and in the hereafter , Ya Rabbi, Ya Rabbi, Ya Rabbi, Ya Rabbul Alameen.



"I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, "Mother, what was war?"" ~Eve Merriam
***
Blogging with purpose,
Mariamlelue